RIP, Cord Box: Obsolete in a Wireless World

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I’m writing a requiem for my cord box. If you’re a Gen-Xer or older, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

I grew up in the ’80s. Which is to say, I grew up in a wired world. Our house phone had a cord and was mounted to the wall. And every room in the house had a multitude of outlets to handle the wealth of appliances we we’re lucky enough to afford. Remember what it was like to be middle-class in the ’80s? When a family could live comfortably off of one salary? Can we bring that back?

Sorry; I digress. That’s a topic for another time. We’re talking about wires and cords and how many of them you needed to run your cable box and your video game system and your home computer (again, if you were lucky enough to be able to afford those things). That was life in the ’80s and ’90s. Then, in the ’00s, things started going wireless. Phones. Computers. So what happened to all the wires?

I kept all mine. Phone cords, power strips, coaxial cables, all of them. They lived in a box–and then in a bin–in my cellar. The bin moved with me from house to house. I still have it. I dove into it for the first time in years just last week, when I attempted to hook up an old turntable. RCA cables? You know I have ’em. The right RCA cable? Sadly, the bin did not provide. No matter; the turntable didn’t work anyway.

Perhaps that’s a sign that the time has come to let go of the cord box, to close the wired chapters of my past. Perhaps it’s time to truly embrace all things wireless. The “neatness” of it all certainly speaks to my borderline OCD. But the nostalgia of that old box and all the jams it’s gotten me out of over the years is a strong pull. To quote Bilbo Baggins: “Why shouldn’t I keep it?”

Besides, I think I see an old tape deck in the stack of boxes in the corner of my cellar. And I know I have the right cord somewhere…

How many of these Gen-X words do you still use in your daily vocabulary? Take a look at the list and find out.

To start with, I suppose we should clearly define “Gen-X.” Because depending on who you talk to, you might get a different range of years. Of course, I’m a Gen-Xer myself, so I could just say: “It’s 196x to 198x,” but I’m not what you’d consider a “reliable source.” And again, since I’m a Gen-Xer, I’ll go to the reliable source my generation went to back in the day: Encyclopedia Brittanica. Brittanica defines Generation X as any person born between the years of 1965 and 1980. Apologies to my brother Nate, who self-identifies as Gen-X despite being born in 1981. I guess you’re an “Elder Millennial” now, bro.

Speaking of Millennials, as Mental Floss states in their piece: “Members of Generation X found ways to establish their own lingo when they were coming of age,” despite not having the online platforms that Millennials and Gen-Z member had growing up. And a lot of that lingo that we established lives on. We Gen-Xers were lucky enough to come of age during some of the most important musical moments of the 20th century. The punk explosion of the late ’70s, hardcore following on its heels in the early ’80s, and of course the explosion of grunge in the ’90s. And throughout that entire period? The birth and evolution of modern rock and hip-hop.

Music is culture, and culture breeds its own language. Some of these Gen-X words started out as musical terms, then crossed over into popular culture. Scroll through the list, complete with the throwback examples I’ve given with each. Then let me know how many of them you’re still hella rockin’ to the max, dude.

You know a slang word has legs when it pops up on a TV show three decades later.

Omnipresent in hip-hop throughout the ’80s and ’90s.

Sure, “dude” has it’s roots in the Wild West, but Gen-X really made the word our own.

West coast surf and skate culture brought this one to the forefront, frequently combining it with the aformentioned “dude.”

I mean, MTV had a whole damn show dedicated to headbangers!

More goodness from that West Coast youth culture.

Saying something “rocks” was invented by Generation X and I won’t be hearing any arguments to the contrary at this time.

Another one from hip-hop culture that made it’s way into the modern rock world.

I mean, I could’ve just posed clips from Heathers for pretty much all of these terms.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nVPjk2JiFgY

Those “Young Urban Professionals” were all the rage back in the ’80s.

Would Clueless have even been Clueless without “as if?”

You can blame Gen-X for corrupting the literal meaning of literally, but it’s really Millennials that took it and ran with it. Literally.

“Oh well, whatever, never mind…” – Kurt Cobain, voice of a generation.

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